I Loved and Lost

Why it all does happen?
To me all over again.
For the memories,
I struggled to forget.
Why is life testing?
Testing me all over again.
For the one,
I was blind in love,
I gave up everything.
Why did I smile?
To make him smile.
Why did I sake?
My vigor and honor for him.
Why did I lose?
Myself for him.
Why didn’t it work?
When I tried my best.
Why did I tried?
To make it all happen.
Why wasn’t I happy?
When everything worked well.
Why did I hid my feelings?
To make him feel better.
I have again been used.
Used by myself.
Again the things are the same.
With a difference.
I did it knowingly.
I feel pity for myself.
To risk my life
For the things,
That can never happen.
It’s the first time.
I have lost something.
But just not made
My parents cried.
I have lost...
All my beautiful days
I spend with you,
And lived for you.
But now could I,
Just live for myself?
Without the worthy tension.
For things to happen.
If I could just,
Smile for myself.
And better not risk again.
My life to swing,
On deadly pendulum.